25 Aug
I seem to keep meeting people who want my trust, but abuse it and leave me. Or ones who want no part of knowing or loving me other than on the most physical level. It's infuriating and makes it impossible to trust people... I'm getting to know someone right now who disappeared for a month immediately after we decided to get to know each other, then told me it was because his grandma died. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and another chance (because "shit happens" is essentially my life slogan) and we moved the convo to another platform, where the name associated with the user handle isn't the name he gave me, nor even the gender he gave me. I asked him about it and am waiting to hear more. So far I got a name clarification, but still no understanding why the two nsmes don't match. To be clear, I have no problems with a trans partner if that's what's up, and I'm open to dating nonbinary persons across the board. I'm pretty sure I put that in my profile even. I DO have problems with information discrepancies when meeting someone new and trying to feel out the potential of a romantic partnership. Because of that, I did a little checking on social media, and neither him nor his family posted anything about grandma's passing... No obitiaries online either. Yes, I acknowledge it's shady to check up on a potential partner like this, and it didn't bring me any comfort or enrichment, but again, trust issues and info discrepancies. I'm seeing the red flags and wondering what game is being played... I feel my walls going up and the crack in the wood but trying not to split before I have more facts. Why is dating so awful? I miss being able to just love someone (until they piss me off. Lol) Just wanted to let it out because it's all rattling around in my head and keeping me up. Anyone else go through this stuff? How do you handle it? The uncertainty kills me. The potential for things to be amazing or terrible... ugh. Dating while BPD.
1 Reply
25 Aug
I feel your frustration, what you wrote sums up some of the downsides of the digital dating world.
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