I know there’s a lot of parents who have children with mental health problems but… I want a child even though my mental illnesses are in no way better
Having a mental illness does not exclude you from having a child as long as you are treating your condition and have lots of support. However, like any other parent some things are super important like love, affection, stable home environment, two loving parents (ideally), financial stability. I mean it’s not impossible without all the above but it is easier.
You might be interested in learning more about the Mad Studies Movement. The general idea is that you still deserve everything as a whole person, regardless if your brain works differently or is labelled "sick" by the medical industry. I found those perspectives helped me come to terms with guilt for wanting things even though I'm considered mentally ill or disabled. You absolutely deserve to achieve those dreams and have a family, because you are willing to put in the work for a family and a child or children when many have children without wanting to do the work. Part of that is learning your unhealthy habits to prevent teaching them to younger generations, but which habits you feel are worth working on is completely your decision. Many children are born into families without histories of mental illness and still struggle in many ways. Your own background does not have to be a reason to not have children.